The end of 2011

So its about 3 hours and 45 mins til 2012 and instead of being out drinking with my friends at the Butterfly Lounge, I am home with my mini's. Basketball shorts and a Big K.R.I.T shirt! Stylin'! Anyway the reason for this blog is to get some thoughts off my mind.
Being the mother of a plus size teenager her and I had a talk about weight and what not. Obviously she knows I've have the lapband and really watch what we eat at home, but I cant be with her 24/7 as I share custody with the ex. 50/50! So she and I have an agreement, in 2012, we will both go to the gym and focus on weight loss. If you know me, you know I HATE working out and being sweaty! Gross! So this is something I am willing to do to help my lil mama get in shape!
I am in a better mind state than I was last year. 2010 wasnt a bad year, it just wasnt nearly as great as 2011 was. I allowed myself to let walls down and allowed myself to feel. While it didnt work out the way I had hoped, I know that i am capable of having emotions. So in 2012 I wont be so dang negative about relationships and what not. lol
I am letting go of the toxic relationship I have with a friend. That saddens me, but I know it is for the best. It's going to be hard not responding to texts and not picking up calls but honestly, its for the best and this person is selfish and needs to focus on himself before he can be any good for anyone else.
With that being said,
Happy New Year!
See ya next year...

XOXO
Erica

Random Post

So Christmas has came and went. While it did not seem like Christmas with 80* weather here in California it was a nice day. The kids enjoyed their gifts from everyone. I enjoyed my family time.

So yesterday, Big Boy from Power 106, our local radio station dropped a book called "An XL life: Staying Big at half the size" Its about his life (duh) but what really got me to want his book was him having weight loss surgery. I mean come on, who doesnt want to read about a man who weighed 500 pounds and was able to shed the pounds.

Anyway, I started reading the book on BN.com and had to run to get the book right after work yesterday. I started it last night and my eyes got teary. Being an emotional eater myself, I can totally see how his childhood could be the underlying problem to his weight gain. I cant for the life of me figure out the source of my emotional eating. An unhappy marriage? My childhood wasn't the best either. I think I see my childhood a lot differently than others may have seen it. I wish I could go more into my thoughts about my childhood, but I wont.

Speaking of emotional eating. I still do this on occasion. I get upset and I head for the kitchen. I stop myself a lot of the times because well there just isnt anything to snack on. I refuse to buy snack foods for this reason. I would have to actually make something and well when I am emotional, I rather not cook. I need to find a proper outlet so that I do not mess up the lapband by over eating or eating when things are wrong.

So my goals this year are to get down to 150. If i go lower, cool, but at the end of 2012 I better be 150 lbs!
Anyway gotta get to work sooo until next time,

Oh and go get Big Boys book "An XL Life: Staying Big at Half The Size"


XOXO

Life

So I have lost all motivation to be honest. That is my issue. I have none. I am at a very happy point in my life. My home is a home and not some crappy apartment I sleep at. I have healthy kids. My love life stinks, but it has since I divorced David back in 08 or 09 whenever that was. Oh, there was a brief moment when I was dealing with JK, that was nice, until things changed with him. (-_-) What is my issue?! I do well for a good 3 weeks and bam I do something that sends me into a "I dont give a shit" mood for another 2 weeks. I really need to figure out what that trigger is so I can avoid it at all costs. Last week I didn't eat horrible just didn't do my shakes like I had been doing and didn't lose anything. :( Oh well. Its life. So now I just gotta really get on the ball and focus on losing these last 4 lbs so I can hit my under 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary which is quickly approaching.
I think maybe the fact that I haven't left California since my car accident at the end of May. I need a mini vacation. A refresher. And I will get one when I go back to Atlanta! I can not wait to go hang with my friends and get inked by Melvin, The most awesome tattoo guy ever! lol Anyway maybe that is what is it, I'm semi sad cus i need to get away from Cali. And if its not that, I dunno...
Anyway I think I am going to go to 24 hour fitness after work and see what kind of deal I can get to join. lol I really need to work these emotions out. I hate being emotional. It makes me feel like a cry baby and a "sissy lala" That's not my thing. I'll leave that to others! Sometimes I wish that other Lapband people lived in my area, I think it would help motivate me. Damnit Rhonnie just needs to move to the OC so we can workout together ha! Wishful thinking.
Well my break is over, until I have some more venting...
XOXO

BYOC

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!  We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. Describe the structure you live in. (apartment, condo, house, mansion, cardboard box?)
   An apartment 1st floor of 3 stories. I love it!
2. Describe the city you live in. (population, main attractions)
   I live in Anaheim, Ca - Home of Disneyland and the Angels! Tourist town. Lots of things to do. I wouldn't have it any other way!
3. Why do you live in the town you live in? (job, to get away from a different town, family, schools?)
   I moved here when I was 18 from a city over, moved away to Las Vegas and came back here. Its home.
   
4. What’s the view like from your backyard?
   No backyard :(
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
   In real life, things are going well. No changes. Just living and working.
   In blogland, nothing. I need to step it up! lol

Anxiety

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am running into a bit of Anxiety. Thinking of all the food that will be there and now I KNOW I am going to want to sample everything ( I am my grandma kellas grandchild). This is my first holiday with the band. how do ya'll keep from over-eating. I mean if i do over-eat I will throw up :/ But yah.... I am still bringing my baby sized plate with me, but what is going to stop me from putting more food on it? Willpower? hmmm yea maybe not? And if someone makes a comment I may do it just cause im hardheaded like that ;) I kind of want to stay my butt home. That is how bad the anxiety is. Am I the only one with this issue? I wouldn't think so but that's how I feel. Oh well this is just another thing to hop over and not feel guilty about it... Gotta go back to work now...
XOXO
Erica

BYOC Friday!

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. What is your FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving?
   Well it used to be eating, I'm not sure, I'd be lying if I said family. I am super anti-social. :)
   
2. How many Thanksgiving family events will you attend?
   Two - My family and David's family, yes, I still spend holiday's with the ex-husband lol
3. What’s your biggest Thanksgiving tradition?
   We don't have one.
   
4. Do you Black Friday shop the day after Thanksgiving?
   I have before, but not this year. Not really in a holiday mood.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.
   In blogworld, same as yesterday, trying to really start blogging more...
   
   In real life, things are great.

BYOC ?!?!

Guess I will jump on the band wagon....

Let’s get to what we came here for! BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called “What’s In/On Your….?”

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)



Some sticky notes and a Hello Kitty toy

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

Another thought of my awesome tattoo idea

3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

I dont have a nightstand. But next to my bed I have a bottle of water and the remote control.

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

Money - easy, money to do whatever I wish with which will be to save for my Atlanta trip. :D
 
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Real life is random. Filled with work and kids. And a little play time in between.

Blog life is getting better. I am trying to stay on board with posting and what not but its not easy when I dont have much to say.