20 Weeks

So here I am 20 weeks out of my lapband to Sleeve procedure. I feel like I could have done better at this point. But I wont dwell. My size 14 jeans are getting lose. I am able to squeeze into my 12's. Before my band had the leak I was wearing size 12. So I am at least back to that point, kind of.

So um why do I feel like I look the same as the picture on the left. 😖 #WLS #VSG #Sleeved #RNY #DuodenalSwitch #VerticalSleeveGastrectomy #lapband #Selfie #PhotoOfTheDay

A photo posted by Erica (@calierica) on Apr 1, 2015 at 7:58pm PDT

Transformation Tuesday On a Wednesday

My journey hasn't been an easy one. It has taken years. But slow and steady wins the race, so I've heard. I used to stand sideways to try to hide my fat. Obviously it didn't work. I am proud of the person I have become during this journey. Sure I may eat shitty from time to time but it's no where near the way I used to eat. #WLSStrong #WLS #LapbandToSleeve #Lapband #VSG #RNY #ExtremeWeightLoss - I used to LOVE that size 3 (from torrid) shirt! I wonder how it would fit now....

A photo posted by Erica (@calierica) on Feb 24, 2015 at 7:17am PST

Whoever says Weight Loss Surgery was easy...

can eat a fat one! I have lost about 40 pounds since November 17th. This has been super hard. It is hard to get enough protein in. It is hard to choose "healthy" foods. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and say fuck it. But I wont. I want to get to 145 ASAP! So I will start going to the gym once I find my sports bras. haha I wish I was one of those patients who lost all of their weight within the first 6 months, but that is not me. I am a slow loser. :(

VSG

Well I did it. It has been 8 very long weeks of hell. I never in a million years thought recovery would go horrible for me. It has gone so bad. I had to take off 6 weeks of work and I am still feeling messed up. However here is an update picture:

A photo posted by Erica (@calierica) on Jan 1, 2015 at 2:48pm PST

I am having a hard time eating. I dry heave all the time. I just feel shitty all the time. But hey, I am losing weight. *sigh*

I just wanted to update since I had not posted in a month.

Love to all...

November 17th 2014

That is my revision date. I am having the band removed and they are doing the gastric sleeve.

Thank.

You.

Jesus!

I am a bottle of emotions. I can't wait to see the changes that will happen over the next few months. I need to lose 100 pounds. My doc says goal weight for me is between 135-150. I will be happy with 150, i think. But I am aiming for 140.

Before:

A photo posted by Erica (@calierica) on Oct 10, 2014 at 9:21am PDT

The only thing really bothering me is that my boyfriend is leaving to go to visit his family shortly after I have surgery. I told him to go because if he didn't go for thanksgiving, he was going for Christmas. I really don't want to be alone during this time. But it is what it is. I will have 2 weeks off of work. Which will be nice. Some quiet time to deal with the new way of getting nutrition in. Three whole weeks of liquid and three weeks of puree foods will be my diet. Eeeek!

Here is to a new beginning!

WLS Classes

And here we go again. So last night I had my first "class" regarding the revision. So in this class they pretty much tell you what is going to happen and how the surgery works. Well I already know. All of the people in the class were band to sleeve/bypass patients. Not surprising. I was baffled by one lady, mid 50's. Still way overweight. We were talking and she says "I love ice cream. I get stuck when I eat food so instead I just eat ice cream. That is why I want to be revised so I don't get stuck anymore." Well, that's a pretty f'd up way of thinking. If your mindset is not ready for Surgical Weight Loss, you wont be successful with any of them.

My insurance requires me to attend a Psych Evaluation, which I happily scheduled on August 20th. A Nutrition class, August 26th and a Doctor talk which I ended up doing last night so I could get that out of the way. Also I need to complete a structured medically supervised diet and weigh in every 2 weeks for at least 3 times before I can even submit for approval. So I was given Bariatric Advantage Protein. Has anyone ever tried this stuff? I am to replace one meal a day with this. And weigh in every 2 weeks 3 times. Lets hope this helps. So it will be at least 6 weeks before I can even submit to my insurance. And once we do, who knows how long it will take them to approve it.

I am still considered morbidly obese by my height and weight. I just really wish I was normal at times and did not have weight issues. I know I shouldn't think that way, but it is hard.

I really enjoy blogging so I am unsure why I do not do it more often.

Until next time....

Erica

Lapband to Gastric Sleeve

The fill under flouro did not show a leak, however we put 9cc's in my band and 2 weeks later I was back down to 6. The PA said "So do you want to fix the band or do you want to revise?" Duh I want a revision. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my band, when it was working! He wrote a long note in my chart and went over all of my information with me. I still qualify for WLS per my insurance. So we are going to go ahead with trying to get me revised to the sleeve. I am so excited for this ordeal to be over. The case manager came in, explained what I needed to do before we submitted the paperwork to my insurance. I need to redo all of the classes I did with the lap-band. The intro class, nutrition, support and the one on one with the doctor. The only thing I do not have to do is see the shrink! Thank Goodness!

She said due to my BMI and that it is not my fault that my band has an obvious leak I should be approved the first go around. Please say a prayer for me. They will call me within a week so I can start my classes. I keep looking at my phone wishing it would ring so I can just start them.

XOXO

Erica

Fill Under Floro

July 8th is the date! Prayers that this test shows the leak so we can submit to my insurance company to have the band revised or fixed. I have gained about 20 lbs since the whole leak thing started back in March. Now, I have not been as strict as I used to be so that is not helping at all. I just need ya'll to pray that this test shows something.

Thanks!

Lapband Leak? Update

I went to see my PA on Thursday. We noted that on the 8th they filled my band to 9.5. On Thursday they were able to pull out 7.5. So she filled me back up to 9 which was too tight, weird since I was okay with 9.5. We pulled .5 out and I had some restriction. I was okay Thursday night, Friday and Saturday morning. Had some restriction not much but some. But something changed since, I again have no restriction. I am really tired of all the poking and prodding. Just take the damn lapband out and revise me to the sleeve! No, instead I need to call my Dr. office back and let them know I again have no restriction and go back in to measure the fluid. Then let them shoot some dye into my band to see if there is in fact a leak. If there is, then we can submit it to my insurance company to see if I can get a revision. I need some revision prayers guys! :)

Now if you don't like needles, I advise you to not look at the pictures. My friend went with me to my appointment and decided to play "Photographer" while they removed and added to my band.

Dr Visit.

May 8th I had an appointment with the PA from my Surgeons office. I told her the issue I was having which is I do not get that restriction that I used to get. I am able to eat more and I am hungry not long after I eat. So she decided to pull out all of my fluid to see if it matches up with what was put in at the last appointment in March. She was able to pull 6.5CC's out (I had 9.6cc's) in the first go around. She had a hard time finding my port and really hurt me getting to it. My port is slanted so she actually had to grab it through my skin and hold it. Can we say OUCH!?! She decides to get rid of that liquid she pulls out and fill me back up to 9.5. When she goes back into my port, she pulls out an additional 1.5cc's. Which is not an indication of a leak. So she fills me back up and makes me gulp water, I feel hardly any restriction. I leave the office and do my normal liquids for the next day or so. Well here I am, 8 days later and still no restriction. She said to call the office if I have no restriction. Unless I can get in on Monday or Tuesday, I will have to wait until after my vacation next week. Oh by the way, I have gained 14 lbs since March. FML!

What could it be? I am seriously at a loss. So frustrated!

Obesity Help 2014 Conference

This morning as I was reading my twitter feed I noticed a posted from @ObesityHelp regarding a conference they hold every year. They have speakers and all that great stuff just like every other conference however this screamed at me! I heard "Hey Fatty, its time for you to get back on track. You need this." I am not the type of person to go anywhere alone so I thought I would ask some of my IG family if they would like to go, if they are in So Cal. Of course people travel to these things. But I think this is something I need to do so I can get out of my slump. By the way, I weigh 202 lbs today. Depressing. I am over 200 pounds again. My fault. I ate cookies again. Had some soda. Again. I am out of effing control.

Anyway, if any of my Weight Loss Surgery friends on here are going to attend the event in LA, please let me know.

A Little Down

Lately I've been feeling a little down in the dumps. I really have no reason to. I bought a new (to me) car, which I looooove. Things have been going extremely well at work and at home. I am unsure what brings on these emo times. But I am truly sick of it. Because when I get this way, I eat. Cry and eat. So I have gained some weight. I am at 197 today. Depressing. Almost back to 200 lbs. Which causes me more sadness.

Normal people do not eat when they get sad, or do they? I have a toxic relationship with food. I bought a box of cookies and ate them all but 2. I kept going in the kitchen to get another and another and another until they were gone. I am so disappointed in myself, yet I keep going down this route.


Anyone else feel like this? 

The Truth

I am sick of having the lapband. I get so frustrated with it. Either I can eat NONE or I can eat a ton. There is never a middle ground. Maybe I am not using my tool correctly? Who knows, but what I do know is I am tired. I always feel drained. I ate ONE strawberry on Saturday and ended up puking for an hour. Sometimes I just want to rip the band out. On the other hand, the other night I had a Chipotle bowl and ate the whole damn thing. So it took me forever but the whole damn bowl?! Geez!

Am I the only one?

Small Changes

So I got promoted to Customer Service Supervisor at work back in November and ever since I was promoted I have had so much more work. It is not a bad thing at all. It is just doing other things rather than emailing customers and taking orders. I now deal with all of the angry people and the fraud. I actually LOVE my job now. Early November I was wishing I had another job. My how things have changed.

I have gained about 4-5 pounds during the Christmas season. I have been eating chips and just a bunch of junk. I need to gain control over my eating otherwise I may see myself over 200 lbs again. My 3 year is coming up on the 17th and I wish I was somewhere near goal weight. I am now 194. *cries*

I wish I had a personal cook too. Someone who makes healthy but delicious dinners so that I will eat better. Lets be honest, all of the "healthy stuff" out there tastes so bland. Maybe that is the issue, I eat to taste, not because it fuels my body.

Anyone have the hook-up at Nike? I want a Fuel band oh so badly but can't really afford to shell out the $100.  lol Hey it doesnt hurt to ask right?

XOXO

The Chili Monster

Sooo lately I have been super obsessed with Wendy's Chili. Every day I order a small chili with cheese for lunch. The lady knows me now. Has my order ready for me! Now I don't spend a lot, but $2.15 Monday through Friday ends up to be $43ish a month. Does anyone have a really good chili recipe that is similar to Wendy's so I can cut costs?

Does anyone else LOVE their chili? 

My body...

just does not want to let this weight go. Or maybe I am not working hard enough! It probably is the 2nd choice. I am not as militant with my foods as some WLS patients are. I just can't be. As much as I want to eat all the healthy bland foods. Its just not for me.

Here is the real reason for this post. I need to remember I have lost a lot of weight at this point. This first picture was taken in Nov of 2010. I was wide as hell. Lord have mercy! I never realized how big I was. But I had so much more confidence.

 

And here is me last week. I mean, is that really me? Such a huge change. Why is it I see the woman up there when I look in the mirror. Where is the pretty chick in the bottom picture?

I take pictures along the way to see the progress because I am unable to see it in a mirror. Isn't it funny how the mind works?

Anyway, I am under 200 lbs, now lets just get into the 180's!

XOXO,

Erica

*Tap* *Tap* Is this thing on?

I really don't have much to say to be honest. I am a ball of mixed emotions. I sometimes think that the lap-band wasn't meant for me. Or lets say, I wasn't ready for the lap-band. I am stuck between 199 and 200 pounds. I mean why would my weight change, I am not working out. I don't eat great either. Hell I sit here at my desk with a open Dr. Pepper can that I have taken a few sips of. It actually made my stomach hurt so I stopped drinking it.

My boyfriend moved in to my apartment on July 10th. He has been such a huge help! Cooked me some fish twice and it was sooo yummy! My tummy was happy! I am no longer in a long distance relationship due to this move. It is nice to have him here every day and know he does not have to fly back to Atlanta after being together only a week.

The kids are doing well. Summer break is going by quick for them. I like them in school better. So they aren't just wasting time playing online all day long. Ayanna made some brownies the other day and then cupcakes the next day. I think shes plotting against me. lol

So now here is another issue. I am always so sleepy. Grouchy. I know one day I am just going to SNAP! lol How in the heck do I get out of this mood?

And can someone link me to lap-band friendly recipes?


Oh! Tonight the boyfriend and I are going to the Orange County Fair. I am super excited! I love the fair. (And the fair food) I am not too big for the rides anymore which means I think I will get on a few. I really like to see the vendors too. They sell all kinds of nifty little things there.


Until next time.....


Erica

199.6

Woot Woot!! *shakes booty*

Yup! I finally broke the stall and I am now in the Onderland! Lord knows it has taken so long to get to this point! I think I did a few fist pumps and jumped up and down a few times too! That means I only need to lose 45 more pounds! I know I can do this! Smaller portions, veggies, etc

I just had to share that!

Have a wonderful rest of the day!

XOXO

Erica

Eff Planks!

So I've been wanting to try them and because they looked so hard I always thought to myself "Nah, I'm good." So the other night, Sunday, my oldest kid said she did them in swim and that they were hard. I got down on the floor and decided to plank. I was able to hold it for about 45 seconds, let myself down for 10 then back up for 30 seconds and that was it. Lord help me. That madness is hard. But guess what, I keep doing them. To see how long I can hold myself up. Hopefully I have challenged myself  enough to make my tummy go away some.

I even showed my co-workers how to plank this morning. I got on the floor at work and did it. Even the "fit" bka skinny girls could not hold themselves up much! Which made me feel awesome!

My other co-worker said she met with a personal trainer through her gym (its free) and she said that he made her stand on that half ball looking thing with kettle balls and do squats. Ummm I would have probably fell out. lol She invited me to join her on Sunday to work out. Since my babies will be with their dad, I am going to take her up on that offer and hit the gym with her.

Its always easier for me to go workout when someone is there with me, not that I will sit there and talk, but I don't feel so "alone." Its good to have a support system.

Well it's time for lunch! Gotta eat this turkey, bacon & avocado sub!

XOXO

Erica

An Adjustment

So yesterday I went to my appt to talk about a conversion and I weighed in at 211. WHAT THE HELL?!?! ugh I just can't win! He said that my band is in place and it looks good so he does not recommend the conversion. Instead he said "Lets do an adjustment and see where that goes." Ummm my band holds 11CC's and I have 9 cc's in there now. Let's see how this works. For breakfast I had half of an Atkins protein shake. I was not able to have any more of that. I still feel really full.

I weighed myself this morning and I was 207.4, how is that even possible? Seriously this stresses me out way more than it needs to. BTW, I start back on the gym this week. I guess if I attempt to eat right, I may as well also workout.

Signed,

A frustrated chubby lapbander