Anxiety

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am running into a bit of Anxiety. Thinking of all the food that will be there and now I KNOW I am going to want to sample everything ( I am my grandma kellas grandchild). This is my first holiday with the band. how do ya'll keep from over-eating. I mean if i do over-eat I will throw up :/ But yah.... I am still bringing my baby sized plate with me, but what is going to stop me from putting more food on it? Willpower? hmmm yea maybe not? And if someone makes a comment I may do it just cause im hardheaded like that ;) I kind of want to stay my butt home. That is how bad the anxiety is. Am I the only one with this issue? I wouldn't think so but that's how I feel. Oh well this is just another thing to hop over and not feel guilty about it... Gotta go back to work now...
XOXO
Erica

BYOC Friday!

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. What is your FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving?
   Well it used to be eating, I'm not sure, I'd be lying if I said family. I am super anti-social. :)
   
2. How many Thanksgiving family events will you attend?
   Two - My family and David's family, yes, I still spend holiday's with the ex-husband lol
3. What’s your biggest Thanksgiving tradition?
   We don't have one.
   
4. Do you Black Friday shop the day after Thanksgiving?
   I have before, but not this year. Not really in a holiday mood.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.
   In blogworld, same as yesterday, trying to really start blogging more...
   
   In real life, things are great.

BYOC ?!?!

Guess I will jump on the band wagon....

Let’s get to what we came here for! BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called “What’s In/On Your….?”

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)



Some sticky notes and a Hello Kitty toy

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

Another thought of my awesome tattoo idea

3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

I dont have a nightstand. But next to my bed I have a bottle of water and the remote control.

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

Money - easy, money to do whatever I wish with which will be to save for my Atlanta trip. :D
 
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Real life is random. Filled with work and kids. And a little play time in between.

Blog life is getting better. I am trying to stay on board with posting and what not but its not easy when I dont have much to say.

Ramblings

Looking at old pictures.......
I do this every day almost to remind myself that I have came so far, 56 pounds may not seem like that much compared to people who have lost damn near 100 pounds in their first year but its a huge weight off of my back, literally. I am human and I allow myself to make mistakes (usually eating or trying to eat something I should not) but that is the beauty in this journey. Being able to make mistakes then correcting them and not allowing yourself to feel guilty. My journey is not going to be like yours, and yours will never be mine. So since I have realized that I wont lose 100 pounds in my first year I have noticed a difference in myself. For the better of course.

These past 10 months have been very emotional for me, I have never allowed my emotions get the best of me. I have held it all in and together. But boy oh boy when they say once you have this surgery things will come up, they sure do. I find myself getting teary eyed over every little thing. A TV show, a commercial. Even remembering my Atlanta trip. Silly, I know. Its crazy how I can go from so happy to so sad and alone within moments. I do not wish this upon anyone, okay well maybe a couple of people. ;)

Next week I take Kianna to go see Katy Perry. I am really not too excited for this to be honest but anything to make my kids happy right? When I took Ayanna to Power House 2011 I seen a smile I had never seen before which made me happy. So its my turn to see Miss Kianna smile i suppose.

Anyway im off to work now...
XOXO

Holidays & Such

So the holidays are quickly approaching. I did not realize that Thanksgiving is only 9 days away. This is my first holiday with the lapband so I am kind of nervous. I was kidding around today when I said I would take my own plate with me to Thanksgiving dinner than I thought that it was a good idea so that i do not over eat. If it can not fit on my plate, it should not be eaten, right? My plates I use at home are kid plates with the sections on it. It gives me a sense of how much to eat. It works well for me when I am at home. I have had this blog about a year now. Woah thats insane. I dont write as much as I would like to but hey, I am here sometimes!
In 2 days I will have had the band for 10 months - Now i wish i could say i had hit a record  or got under 200 pounds by this point. But I haven't. And I am okay with that. By my 1 year I would like to have gotten to that under 200 lb goal. Its a very realistic goal since I am only 5 lbs away from it. I need to lose about 55 more pounds to get to my Goal. If i want to get to my weight that I "should be" its 75 pounds. Ill stick with MY goal. Thanks!
In about a month I will be 32. *gasp* I am unsure how to feel, happy that I made it to 32? Especially after my accident. Or sad that I am now 32. Eeeek! For my birthday, I would love to go to Atlanta and get tattooed by Melvin (www.melvintodd.com) but in the real world, I can't. #1 we have a black out period of time we can not take off and #2 I can not afford it right now. I have these dope ideas for my next session with Melvin. I get super excited just thinking about it. Yea I am silly I know. Anyway, for my birthday, I just want a dinner with my family & friends. A seafood spot. Lets hope I get what I want. 
Anyway back to work I go...Until next time...

XOXO