LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Ups and Downs

So I keep going from 201 to 207 for the past few months. It is so annoying. But I really don't follow my lap-band "instructions" anymore anyway so its all my fault. I eat and drink together. I don't do proteins much. With the holidays right before us, this is going to be extra hard for me. I don't even go to the gym as much as I can. I always have an excuse as to why I don't go. Simple as this, I don't even know if I am doing my workouts correctly so I think why even go. Such a lame excuse.
I need to get under this 200 pound mark. I cant even blame anyone but myself for not being further along in my weight loss. I really should already be at goal, I mean I am almost 2 years out from surgery. Or maybe not. Everyone is different right. I've been at this weight for the longest time. I still have a good amount of restriction with the band. Maybe if I try not drinking while eating. I will have the full feeling longer? Or maybe just eating the right foods? I really think I should go back to some support meetings. I think it would help me a great deal since I seem to have forgotten the "rules"
Any tips for me guys?!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Let's Jump on the Bandwagon...

So I am trying out Herbalife for a couple of weeks just to get a feel if i actually am about that life... ya know two replacement meal shakes a day... I am a oral person (lolz) so drinking my meals just does not seem like it would be a good idea for me. But who knows. I had my morning shake and added some light strawberry banana yogurt to it since it was so disgusting. And I wasn't even able to drink the full shake since I am full. Which is awesome! I will have a salad for lunch and the other half of my shake for dinner.

Lets see how this Herbalife thing goes, I have seen some awesome results and my mom's friend only works out once a week and she looks amazing. Im going to need some prayers!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Does anyone even read this?

Okay so I don't really blog for all to read, I blog to get things off my chest and if someone reads and can understand cool. Or even better, if someone reads looking for advice before getting the lap-band and Ive helped them make a decision that's cool too. 
I have came to a stop in my weight loss. Which is cool. I know why it is. I just gotta get my mojo back! I have to WANT to lose weight and right now, i just am stuck. My mind has a lot of clutter. I am stuck in my old ways. 
I mean I knew when I chose to have the surgery it wasn't an easy fix to my weight problems. And honestly, i didn't care about that. I just wanted most of the excess weight off. Now I am only about 50 lbs from my goal and I am stuck because my head is still stuck at where it was when i was 268 pounds. It is time for me to look inside myself and figure out why I do the things I do. I can go and blame it on everyone else, the way I was raised, growing up without a father, looking for something missing, not being able to be a normal teen/young adult due to me getting pregnant at 17. Everyone has issues but not everyone allows those issues to take over. I hold things in because I don't want to be "weak"
Lately a lot of things from my past are all of the sudden in my face. I never claim to be perfect, okay wait, maybe I do from time to time. But *I know I am not perfect. Honestly right now I am not even sure what I am babbling about. I just feel like I need to type. 

I'm done for now...

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Lunch & Snacks

I'd love to have a sandwich, but most of the time, bread is a HUGE no no because it gets stuck. And we all know what stuck episodes do. >___< They do not feel good in the least bit. So I have been eating turkey meat with avocado. Oh My Goodness! It is sooo yummy! But is it good for you? I know avocado is supposed to be a good fat... If i could eat this every single day for lunch I would. They looked very similar to the picture below I stole off the net lol (minus the green olives and veggies, I had a peach)

What are some of your easy lunch time foods that you eat while at work?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Seriously, I am happy with everything about me EXCEPT my tummy. I know if i had a tuck, I'd be so much happier with my body. I guess I need to figure out a way for my insurance to cover this procedure. I don't mind the arms, and the thighs and i actually like having my booty. But this stomach is GROSS! I look in the mirror most days and say "not bad" considering the whale I was about a year and 8 months ago.
Its probably not a good idea to have a tuck at this time since I am not even 2 years out from Surgery but i hate looking in the mirror and everything is fine, except that part *insert sad face*
Has anyone had a tummy tuck? I have so much belly fat its disgusting!

Monday I went to the gym and worked out for a little less than an hour and that felt good. I felt like I had so much energy afterwards. Went home and did some laundry and washed dishes. I also could have gone to bed early had I not wanted to sit on the phone with my boyfriend while watching Breaking Bad (which is an amazing show). I will go to the gym a few days a week to try to lose the weight I gained when the boyfriend was visiting. :/

I often wonder why I was so confident in my bigger body. I just knew I was cute. Now, I am super insecure. Its pretty sad. Like at a size 14, its not good enough, but at a size 22/24, I was happy. Makes no sense. Can anyone explain the logic behind that? I used to be a social butterfly at my biggest weight. And now I stay home, not only because I feel like I am a new person and I don't have the same thoughts/feelings as I once had. Or maybe I am just growing up while old friends are still into the clubbing scene?

Anyway enough with my rambling.. I gave myself a headache!


Thursday, August 9, 2012


So lately I have been taking Biotin because my hair just would not grow.. I am a couple week in and let me tell you, my hair is finally growing and so are my nails. Having any WLS you are supposed to take a few vitamins and I suck at that. I take b complex and biotin and thats all. :/
My hair is growing and is full and looks healthy! I am loving it. The vain part of me is excited since I cut my hair back in October pretty short for me. It wouldn't grow until now. Its almost down to my bra strap!
What other vitamins do my WLS people take?

Friday, July 20, 2012

Oh how I've neglected you,,,

Dearest Blog,
I hope you're not mad at me. See I've been very busy with my life. My trip to Atlanta was AMAZING! I now have a boyfriend. Yes a real BOYFRIEND! He is awesome!
Anyway so I am still at the same weight I was before. I really haven't been trying to lose weight. I go through phases where I want to lose more than I get lazy and don't care. I need to snap out of it. So I said I wanted to get to my goal weight by my birthday in December, however I don't think its possible to get a full workout with my meniscus tear. Or maybe that is just my mind telling me I cant do something.
As I sit here and snack on chips... smdh.. I am my worst enemy and I know it.
Anyway hopefully I will have some time later tonight to upload some of my pictures of my trip to Atlanta!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Atlanta, We shall meet again...

So I will be spending the 4th of July at an Atlanta Braves game! My first summer trip to Atlanta. I am a bit nervous because I hear how hot it is! I expect this trip to go very well. And also I will add to my Loveless Society ink. That is all I wanted to say. Short and sweet. 'til next time....

Monday, May 7, 2012

Just a picture

So as much as I even hate to post this picture! I feel like I have to! So I can keep myself in check! The first picture was taken 12/23/2010, a month before I had my surgery. The 2nd one was taken 1/2012 not sure of the exact date. And the last was taken a couple days ago. Such a huge change!

Losing Weight

I will be completely honest, I have stopped trying to lose weight at this point. I eat what I want (if i can eat it) and with my leg hurt, I don't exercise. But I am losing about a pound every 2 weeks which is fine by me. I have just found it so much harder to keep track even with using my fitness pal. So i have laid off on writing down every single thing I eat. Its more annoying than anything. I keep a mental note of what I eat and if i go over my allotted calories, I do. If i don't, its cool too... I find that when I do not try I lose. Kinda crazy huh. I mean I don't sit here and eat junk all day. I'm just not so worried if that chicken leg is 90 calories and the salad is 200 adding in something else isn't going to kill me.

Not saying that this is the right choice, as long as I don't gain weight, I am okay. I wish i knew how to exercise to tone up without using my knee since I really don't have full movement of it. I go to the doctor on Wednesday to see what the next step is. I really do not want surgery to repair it. I rather try to rehab it. I regret going out that night. One night messed up my workout plans.
Does anyone know of any exercises that can be done without full use of the knee?


Monday, April 30, 2012

Rude People

So I have been thinking about posting this since Thursday and well I am just going to post it and if someone has a problem, oh well.
So my son plays baseball and my ex-husbands sister came to his game. Its very well known she does not like me, and I don't care much for her. She acts like shes better than others. Pssshhh please, I know your past. Its way worse than all of my "mistakes" 10 times over. ANYWAY so the coach asked me "Is your mother in law coming?" I laugh and say "Um shes not my mother in law" in a joking manner. We always joke that way. So my snotty ass ex sister in law says "you should say you EX mother in law" as if anyone was speaking to her. I turn around and say, "your mom actually asked me if it was okay to just say my daughter in law because it is an awkward situation saying ex daughter in law" and turn back around.
Fine, i get it, you don't like me. You don't have to. I had three kids with your brother not you. Mind your damn business. My ex's mom and I get along fine. We don't always agree on things but I do love her. She has been there for me even after David and I divorced. Hell I see her more than her own kid does!
I never will understand her need to make snotty comments. She needs to worry about why she looks older than my mother yet shes younger by a few years maybe 10.
Anyway that was mean. But whatever. I'm done venting.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Band so tight..

that I actually feel a good amount of restriction. Which makes me happy! I went to dinner with my co-workers yesterday and ordered blackened talipia, Mac and Cheese and Garlic mashed potatoes. Where was my mind at when I was ordering. No Veggies. *shrugs* Anyway so I had all of 3 bites of the fish, 2 of the mac n cheese and 3 of the garlic potatoes and i was full. I was totally okay with that. It felt good knowing that I was feeling restriction. Guess I should eat properly and I would feel this way more often.
So my leg is still hurt. Here I am 3 weeks later and I am still having issues. It moves a bit more but I am super stiff in the morning. It takes a while to get my leg moving. MRI is tomorrow morning. Hopefully its nothing serious or I didn't damage it more by walking on it.
So I guess I should have finished this blog. LOL Oh well I didn't.
I got my MRI on Saturday. Um is it supposed to hurt? I didn't think so. While they were doing it i felt pin and needles in my knee and it started to spasm. Not cool. AT ALL.

So now we shall see what is going on with my knee. I am kind of sick of walking crazy!

This weekend went by too quickly. We had the little league carnival Sunday. I was out there most of the day. Got home, cooked some yummy chicken with some bacon and cheese over it. The most delicious chicken I have ever made! lol And baked sweet potatoes. I kind of want to cook that tonight as well but the boy has a baseball game so I am sure I will be eating an El Pollo Loco side salad and a chicken leg.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

"I Love Dom, That Should Be Your New Tat"

Sooo last night was the Dom Kennedy show. Let me just say I am in LOVE with him now. I had a great time. Sang along to all his stuff and got close enough to him for him to grab my hand. So now we go together - in my mind. *insert giggle* I actually bought one of his shirts, I have never ever purchased a shirt at a concert because well I think, come on now, are you really going to wear this? But YES, I will be wearing my Dom OPM shirt proudly! Here are a couple of pictures I took with my wack Blackberry...
My Boo on stage with Polyester
I was lovin them Red shoes!

Don't mind the messy face, it was hot in there. But yea, after the show!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Happy Happy Joy Joy

On to better news....
I get to go see my boo Dom Kennedy tomorrow! I am super excited! I haven't gone to a concert in a while and have never seen him perform. For some reason I enjoy his music even though he is kinda ratchet. I still have no idea what I am going to wear. I thought about my blue sweater dress with the black belt and some cute strappy black sandals since I can not wear my new shoes due to my injury. *laughs* But what if I get cold. Maybe some jeans and a cute low cut top? Nah the dress I am sure is what it will be. With my cute hoop earrings... I am super excited for this show. Been on my Dom tip all last week and this week so I can learn all the lyrics and rap along with him....

Oh and I finally get my MRI on my knee tomorrow before the show. Lets hope there isnt any real damage to my poor knee. I don't want to feel old at the ripe age of 32 anymore.


Why dont *I* see it?

67 pounds gone. FOREVER. And I still don't see it. In my mind, I look like the 262 pound Erica. Yes, that is how much I weighed when I started out on this journey. I know it will be like this for a long while. But its sooo frustrating. Sometimes I wish i had kept at least one pair of my old jeans to see the difference. I gave them all away so that I couldn't/wouldn't go back. I went from a size 24 to a 14. If I didn't have a tummy, I'd be happy! Like honestly happy. I said my goal size was a 14. But my tummy says HELL NO! *Chuckles*
 Sooo here are two pics I could find a side view of me. Two years apart. Geez I sure have been complaining a lot lately. o_O I really don't mean to but sometimes I need to vent and what better place to vent than my own blog! lol Okay, I guess looking at the pictures, I do see some loss.
I am sounding a bit crazy, so i will stop typing...
for now....

Monday, April 16, 2012

Putting it all out there....

Sooo lately I have been wondering what was wrong with me. I am a decent looking chick, chubby, but I got a cute face so I've been told. But I am single. Do not go on dates, hell I dont think I have been asked on one in a long while, and if I have, its been some dude whose idea of a date is to come to my house to "watch movies." Um NO! Well I have figured it out, so I think. I am unavailable. I have not let go completely of my past. My divorce. I am admitting it here in hopes to finally let go. My ex and I are "friends" meaning, when things go his way, we get along. Once I say no or do something he does not like, he makes my life HELL and I go along because I rather keep the peace. I usually keep my personal life, personal but I have to let this go. How in the world do I move on? It has been 3 years now and I have met an amazing person who I let go because I am stuck on someone who I am no longer with. *slaps myself in the forehead*

Soo now I have another issue. WHY am I not motivated?! Now with my hurt leg, I know I cant workout but my eating choices have been so bad lately. My soda intake is not okay. I actually put a picture of a fat woman up on my computer screen as a reminder what I do not want to look like. *sigh* I wish this was so much easier. I did not have the lap-band put in so I can stay fat. Do I not love myself enough to want this for ME? It is so frustrating. Someone give me some tips. Because I need to get to my personal goal by my birthday at the end of the year...

I have so much more I need to get out, but will wait on it...
Sincerely a tired frustrated woman!

Friday, April 13, 2012


So today has been a hectic day at work, for the first half of the day our system was down. Which would be cool if it wasnt friday and they didnt threaten us with working over the weekend. My son plays baseball and I am NOT missing a baseball game. Nope. Cant do it. Then I get these rude complaining customers mad because their adult novelty isnt up to par. Ummm doesnt anyone know you can get ____ or _____ for FREE?!?! I need a nice stiff .... drink...... BevMo will be on my first stop when I get off of work!

Oh I never thought about this, the lack of a love life may be also a reason why I am so on edge! I need a date or something. Maybe its time I open myself to going on dates. If Cupid is listening, please send me a nice handsome man with goals who is on their "grown man status" cus if i meet one more 30 year old "rapper" I may scream!!!!


Hurt Knee = No Workouts + A Funny..

So I am pretty bummed. About two weeks ago, I fell and hurt my knee pretty bad. I am still limping around. I have not been able to work out. I am feeling it too. I think I have actually gained some weight. :(
So here is a funny story:
I havent been able to really clean up too well because I cant stand too long otherwise it hurts. So I decided to put away some clothes that were on bed. I am hanging up clothes and then bam, I trip over my son's shoe and fall AGAIN! So not only did I fall two weeks ago, I fell again the day before yesterday. Needless to say, my leg hurts a bit more. Its more tender now. So not only did I fall again, I fell INTO a box I have in my closet full of the kids school stuff and important papers that I need a filing cabinet for. And was STUCK there for a good 10-15 minutes before I could get up. I cried then laughed hysterically. Only me..

I have been wearing a knee brace. It helps some but really, I just want to be able to move my knee normally. I am supposed to be getting an MRI but my insurance hasnt approved it. Soo I will continue to pop pain meds at night and be in pain during the day walking around like I got a crippled leg. Not that there is anything wrong with a crippled leg, if you got one ;)

Ok I think i am done complaining now!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Adjustment and things...

So I went ahead and got the adjustment done last Thursday. My band is pretty tight. I had my first stuck episode today. I decided to try some chicken breast from a Chinese food place even though my gut told me "Do NOT do it" It smelled so yummy but i know chicken breast is just too thick for me. Welp one piece in and yep at my work desk I went to the bathroom several times to get rid of it. Good Lord when will i finally realize i need to go with my first instinct. I ended up giving my lunch to my co-worker who I obviously feed well! lol Guess I will look back and maybe this post will remind myself to NOT eat chicken breast no matter how good it smells.

Anyway so I am enjoying this whole working out thing. My body, no so much. But it will get used to it right? I mean who likes to feel like their arms are going to fall off from weights? Its crazy how just a year ago I couldn't even do a full workout without being overly tired! Now I am just loving it. Gives me a release of stress! I do 30 mins on the elliptical. Then I go to the weight machines and work on my inner & outer thighs, my arms and my booty!  Then the Sauna. I am there for a good hour 45 mins. And sometimes I go during lunch time and do 20 mins of cardio then weight machines for about 20 mins. I hope I see the scale move soon.

I have a confession, I have been drinking soda *sigh* I try so hard to not drink it. But its the only caffeine I get. :( I gotta stop. Anyone have any tips? Because as long as I am drinking it, I wont be able to lose.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Hungry, I think....

*sigh* Yes, I am. There are days where I can eat so much and other days where, umm yea not so much. I have a hard time knowing when I am hungry for real or just want to eat for comfort. Today, I had some breakfast, 2 eggs and a couple of home-style potatoes pieces and welp, 3 bites in and I'm stuck. So maybe a fill isn't in my best interest. I want to always feel optimistic about my journey but lets face it, its not always peaches and cream. There are days where I think, Why did I do this to myself. But then I look at an old picture and think "THATS WHY FATTY"
Oakland 2009
I think I was at my highest weight at this point. You see that tummy?! Gorda! That was a year and some months before I have the band put in place. And there I was happy as pie. Goodness! Anyway, sorry I started to go off into another direction. Anyway, why is it I am still having a hard time knowing when its actual hunger or if I think I am hungry. So all my friends who have the band, how do you know when you are actually hungry? Do you have set times when you eat? Do you really drink water throughout the day like you are supposed to? Do you ever get like me and miss eating food the way you used to?
So many questions I have that I know happen to others but I still feel alone in this... Its crazy!
Any lapbanders in the So Cal area, message me. I am thinking of some how doing some type of "meet-up group" I think having friends who are understanding of what we go through is important. Support is the key to success


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

To Fill or not to Fill

So Thursday I have an appt with the lap-band doc. I am at 7.1cc's at this point and have some restriction. Since I didn't lose last time they wanted to see me in 6 weeks from my last appointment. I am sure they will ask me if I want an adjustment. And I am not sure if I do. I know if I do, and its too much, i will be back removing it ASAP. It has been a year and 2 months since I have gotten the band put in.  Whatever shall I do?
So I got a 24 hour gym pass like I had promised I would when I got back from Atlanta. Boy oh boy am I sore. I go every other day or so. It feels good to work out. Sometimes I sneak a 30-45 minute workout in at lunch time on my work days so I don't have to go late at night. I am so not a night person anymore. Today at the gym, when my 30 mins was done, I felt like I could have done more. Which is awesome! When I go at night with David, we stay for about an hour and half. 30 minutes is doing cardo, the other time is doing weight then 10 minutes is in the sauna. That sauna feels good after I walk out.
I am proud of myself that I am actually sticking to this gym thing. Usually I would have said forget this madness but I have a goal I need to reach.
I want to lose 50 pounds by my 33rd birthday in December. Is it possible? Yes, I am sure it is. Will I do it? I sure hope so.
So lap-banders shall I fill or not? Gimme advice.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

So my Atlanta trip has came and gone. I miss it dearly already. While I was in Atlanta, I lost 5 pounds. It probably had something to do with the fact I was walking a lot, and my food intake was minimal. The weather was cold, a Cali girl isn't used that that kinda stuff!
Anyway, while I was there I was tattooed by the best ever Melvin Todd. He added to my arm. My arm is beautiful. I also did a photo shoot while I was there. You can check me out Loveless Erica. It has a little interview and some amazing pictures. I fall in love with my arm all over again and a little bit more each day. Oh and I also am the proud owner of the very first Loveless Society painting. It sits on my side table in my room.
Please go to the site and read about Cupid. He's an awesome Cherub and what he stands for is even better.
Go ahead and check the site and let me know what you think.

Monday, February 20, 2012


Atlanta here I come... I am sitting here so very anxious to be on that plane to the A. All I need to do is pack my toiletries and I am all ready to go! I have nothing planned other than my ink session. Which is the most exciting for me. Just some time away will do me good!
My oldest got 3 books over the weekend and she almost all 3. I am so glad she has found some books that she likes. Usually I have my kids 50% of the time and the other 50% they are with the ex, but I have had them the last two weeks and its been nice. Just me and my babies! We went to the outdoor swap-meet yesterday and walked around. I bought a flat iron because mine crapped out on me and the oldest got some skinny jeans. I should have bought some for myself! $10 for jeans?! That is an AWESOME deal! But I didn't. I really don't think my suitcase needs any more clothes in it.
All I can think about is getting my tail to LAX and flying across the US! My mind is so funny when it comes to my trips. Nothing else matters, besides my kids, I really wish my bestie could have came with me. I sometimes get a little nervous traveling alone. Thankfully, I know people in Atlanta who will keep me company. 
Friday is City Of Ink's 5 year anniversary show. I have never been to an art show, of any sort but it is time to do things out of the norm for me. I planned my trip for this time due to the show. I am excited!
Is it bad that I haven't even gotten my tattoo and I already want another one? o_O
Okay i gotta work for now...

Friday, February 17, 2012

More Ramblings....

Well I am headed back to my favorite place, Atlanta! I get to get some more body art by Melvin Todd. And see an Art show at City Of Ink. I swear if i lived in Atlanta id be marked up like a subway in harlem - sorry had to use that line. Lets hope I dont cry this time when I have to come home. I leave Wednesday morning! I have 3 days off of work next week. Much needed to say the least. I totally expect to lose weight since I know when I am vacationing I always forget to eat! I hope I can finally get under the 200 lb mark. Anyway, me going on vacation allows me to clear my mind. I come back in a better space. I hope that me getting away from this allows me to also come back and get on track with the gym. I really need to stop playing around and just do it.
Speaking of clearing my mind. Being a mother to a teenaged girl is hard work! I never ever imagined it would be as hard as it has been. While it isnt as bad as other mothers Ive heard horror stories about, its tough work. I am 32, shes 13. Sometimes I have to remember that we are learning together. She speaks with me about issues with school. And I try to guide her in the right direction. But she is a miss know it all, as was I when I was her age. Boys are becoming an issue. I tell her not to be in a rush to grow up, she will wish she had her kid years back. But what do I know. In her eyes I was never in her place. Nevermind I met her father when I was 14. Got pregnant with her at 17 and had her at 18. I never got the chance to be a young adult. I was a mother of two by 20 and a wife with kids by 21. I just hope she sees me and realizes I do know what I am talking about.
Woah that turned into a mini venting session. Anyway time for me to go to bed, I am sleepy!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012


It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!
  1. Name a Valentine gift you would NOT want to receive.
    -Any type of candy.
  2. What’s your vacation personality? Do you act/eat/talk/do things differently or completely opposite from when you are not on vacation?
     -I am me while on vacation. Nothing changes. I actually eat less while I am away because I am scared something will get "stuck"
  3. Describe yourself in 5 POSITIVE words.
    -Boy, this is hard..
    1. Funny
    2. Outgoing
    I give up.. lol
  4. Do you have any phobias or irrational fears or dislikes?
    -I fear being alone. Like forever.
  5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
    In real life, things have been great. I am 12 days away from being in Atlanta. My son is back in baseball and the girls are helping with the team. All 3 kids are getting good grades! Life is well!

    In blogland, I am still trying to blog a bit more. I am so dang random so its hard. My brain is pretty scattered when it comes to writing.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Thin = Perfect?

So I find myself thinking, if i were only size 7 I would be perfect. When did being thin equal perfect? I never really knew how big I really was. I was given some old pictures of when Kianna was a year old. I was so wide. So so sooooo big. I am so embarrassed. Anyway back to my original thought. Media tends to make women doubt ourselves by shoving these size 2's in our face. Now let me set the record straight, I never want to be a size 2. I NEED my curves. I love having thick thighs and a round booty. Just want them toned. But even if i were a size 2, would I be happy? Or would I try to be a size 0.
My mind is constantly on how to make myself "pretty" meaning losing weight. I wonder if this will ever stop, even when I reach goal weight. Which by the way isn't by any means skinny. I mean really, I am 5'1" and I want to be 150. I'd still be considered overweight.
I mean how many overweight people are really honestly happy by the way they look? One may claim to be "happy and love themselves" the way they are, but at my highest weight, I was depressed and I just didn't care enough about myself to change anything. Now that I am half way to my goal, I sit here and think how in the hell did I not love myself enough to take care of ME! Being a mom and a wife, I put me on the back burner. It wasn't until I divorced did I really start caring about the way I looked. And now its an obsession.
Anyway this totally got off topic yet again. Me and my ramblings.. but I do not want to be skinny, I want some curves.
Until next time...


Monday, February 6, 2012

Such a great weekend...

So since yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, i tried to avoid going anywhere that may serve tasty snacks as I had tons of calories Saturday night drinking all night. So that meant I was going to stay home. Anti-social because of food. Not the way I want to live my life. I went to the Swapmeet in the early afternoon and decided  I was going to eat a Papusa. Those things are always so tasty. So I walked for a couple of hours looking at all the pictures, and whatever else was being sold. I stumbled upon a booth with Loungefly items and sunglasses. I love love love Loungefly. They always have the best purse/wallets. So I bought myself the cutest purse/wallet combo. Its black with cream "day of the dead" skulls on it. See below:

All of the sudden I am really into this type of stuff. I want to decorate my living room with pictures. I want kind of a "dark" feel in my living room. Not sure why but I just do.

So Saturday night I went to my favorite club, Cantina lounge, in Fullerton. I haven't went out since my birthday in December. It was nice. Met my friend Melvin and his people up there. Wore this dress:

So don't mind the fuzzy pictures, I was already pretty intoxicated when I got home and thought it was a good idea to have a mini photo shoot with my blackberry *sigh*

All in all my weekend was great! Didnt over do it with food!
Oh wait, I went shopping with my great friend Rhonnie - I met her momma for the first time, Joan is AWESOME! Seriously I dont think I have laughed like I did in so long so shoutout to Joan!
So I just re-read this, and i am so random - excuse that part of me, I can never stay on track with a story. XOXO

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


So is it me that seems to be sick a lot? Ever since I have had the band put in place it seems like I'm sick every other month or so. I don't get it. I am currently taking Alka-Seltzer Day time cold meds in the day and night time at night just so I can sleep. I am really tired of getting sick. Any of my fellow lap-banders experience this? I also thought maybe due to the things I do eat maybe my immune system isn't as good since I dont get all the nutrients needed? I dunno...

Anyway thanks for reading my rant..

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Eff Jillian Michaels

So um yea, I started the 30 day shred and did it for a few days and um no. Just no. My legs were shaking and I could hardly sit down. I know "no pain no gain" but good lord I'm just too damn big for all that jumping around nonsense. I need to get something with less impact on my joints before I go ahead and do this 30 day shred nonsense lol I need to get on CL and look for a cheap elliptical like I had originally planned on.
So this is me yesterday:
I feel like I look so much smaller in pictures than I do in person. I can hide my tummy well. That is the ONLY part of me I have. My stomach. I wish i could just cut it off and Id be okay... Thanks for listening to me vent..


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

One year


Well here it is! One year since I've been banded! A full year. Well what do i say? In this year I have learned so much about me. And boy with just 57 lbs lost, I have transformed so much. I look at old pictures and I am EMBARRASSED that I ever allowed myself to get so big. Only a few more pounds until I get under the 200 mark. I have started exercising and walking a bit more. Drinking more water. I had an adjustment on Monday. Since the adjustment i totally feel the difference in how much I can eat. I am loving it. Hopefully in 8 weeks there will be a big loss! *crosses fingers*

So I will be heading to Atlanta in February to get more ink from Melvin. I can not wait.. some more Loveless on my body! I think that's the only thing I really get excited about other than seeing the scale move lower, is the anticipation of getting to Atlanta and getting tattooed. Gonna go home and book my flight if the flight is still $167 like it was last night.

Welp the ticket wasnt $167 but I am still headed that way.

My question to you, whoever reads my blog,
 What advice would you have given yourself before you have whatever WLS you had?


BYOC - Tuesday Edition

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! 5 little questions we answer to give our blogging brains a break and to get to know each other better. Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!

1. If money and time wasn't a problem - name a place you'd go on vacation and for how long?

I'd go back to Atlanta, I mean I do want to travel and see more than just Atlanta but for NOW?! Yep, visit and get more tattoos. I'd probably just stay 2 weeks. Anything more I'd be tired of it.

2. This week I had a discussion with some friends about names our children or other people we know call the "nether regions". Don't hate - it's funny. So let's share them for a laugh. Any creative words for hoohaa and tallywhacker you think we haven't heard yet

I'm not very creative for naming those types of things. I just use Vag and Peen, very kid like LMAO

3. Take a picture of your nails right now! Bossy, aren't I? I just had my nails done - I can't help it. I neeeed to show someone!

Ew no! My nails are horrid! I just removed my fake nails and they look like who did it and why?!

4. Tell me about the weather right now where you are!

Our weather in So Cali is crazy right now, it was raining yesterday, today its sunny and beautiful!

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and blog land.

Real life: My life is full of work and kids. I am trying the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and well, i have done like 4 days lol My body is so sore its hard to do it the next day :( I guess i just gotta suck it up and do it!

Blog life: I wish I had more things to say in my blog, I start a blog and then I decide to "finish later" which never gets done. Blah