Liquid Diet

So I went to my one on one with Dr. Ali. He asked if i could go on a liquid diet until my surgery. So here I am, Day 2 and im so cranky! I am starving! I am actually doing breakfast and lunch slimfast and dinner a small meal - chicken or something like that and lots of veggies! Last night I was fine with dinner. I was full. It's during the day when I feel like biting someone's head off cus im so dang hungry! It isnt easy working customer service with this 'tude! My surgery is in 20 days. I am excited, nervous, anxious. I have so many different emotions. I keep thinking, what will i look like when its all done with? Will I have to get reconstructive surgery? Hmm Anyway I'm at work so i gotta go..
Lord give me strength to get past these next few days...
XOXO

Erica

Are those your daughters clothes?

So got a text message that said something like ' the cameraphone game send the 4th picture in your phone and fwd let's see how many crazy pics u can get' so thought okay I am bored ill send one. it just so happens that the 4th pic was one that had taken yesterday morning. a full body shot that I had taken as a reminder my shirt was a sweater top and pants, some fitted jeans. anyway I sent it and I got the response 'are those your daughters clothes' which offended me because they were not too small. they were just fitted! we all know that if a big girl wears big clothes they look bigger. Anyway felt so self concious the rest of the day even after being complimented. what my 'friend' had said left a lil scar on the way felt about myself! so lemme explain the pics - the first one obviously is what i wore to work. the 2nd one is my daughters dress lmao which is way too short and too small for my boobs i can still put it on lol smh anyway sometimes things said from the people you actually care about is worse than things being said from someone who you dont care about..
xoxo

38 Days

So its only 38 days until my surgery! I am super excited yet nervous! Like how do you prepare to have the lapband? Only 12 more days til i go to the one on one with the doctor. I cant believe this is finally happening for me. I am not even sure on what to say right now. I just thought since I havent blogged nearly as much as I have wanted to I should post something. My eating habits lately have been horrible - Shame on me for not eating better. I need more veggies in my diet. I shall go to get some today after work. I have so much going on in my life right now. Surgery coming, Birthday coming, school starting. How am I ever going to keep up with all of this? I know, God will lead me on the right path. This is actually the happiest I have been in a long while. I am feeling motivated. Like Yes, I can do this. Sure it wont be easy, but really is anything ever easy in my life? I am already planning my one year visit to ATL for after my surgery. I sure do wish Miya took appts hella far in advance cus i sure would book him for jan 2012 lmao.
Anyway, I am unsure of what types of protein shakes I should buy, well cus i know they are going to be nasty and chalky. :( I need to get out my folder and start looking at my notes i wrote in my classes. I better get back to work. lol - i have added a pic of me from this morning..

XOXO

E

Thanksgiving...

So I made it through this day without eating so much i got sick! Super proud of myself! Usually I would have felt hella sick by the night. This time, I only ate a bit of turkey and some stuffing.. oh and some type of sweet my uncle made. It was BOMB! lol I did good. I am really wanting some ideas of what type of protein shakes to get for afterwards. I guess when i go to my next appt they will talk more about that. I am really picky on what i eat anyway so i hope they are good. I cant imagine myself drinking nasty ish for 2 weeks. lol Dont mind the grammer issues i am having. I am at work typing this out and dont have time to fix it. :) Anyway... My birthday is coming in 19 days and lets just say it will be my last time partying like a rockstar for a very long time!

XOXO
E

The Start of a new life

So here I am. 30 years old. Single Mother. Working full time. I decided a while ago that I am sick of being plus sized. Not that I am unattractive as a big girl but really, i dont like myself! So for the past couple of years I have thought about having the Gastric bypass. I kept putting it off because I was scared. So finally, enough was enough. I talked to my doctor about having some type of weight loss surgery. And here I am now, I am a month and 24 days pre-surgery. I guess I made this blog so i can type my emotions out well because this is kinda a big deal to go through. My children arent too thrilled with my decision as they are kind of scared for me to have an actual surgery. I just know that this will help my health. I am now diabetic due to the weight gain. Otherwise, im pretty darn healthy! So high five to me for that! :) Anyway, lets hope i can keep up with this!  My surgery date is 1/17/11 talk about a new year and a new me! My goal is to be a size 14, which is still considered plus size to the world sadly.
XOXO
Erica